Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."
"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."
As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."
From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"
The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?" "That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
So he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Billy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.
Our four-year-old son speaks English and German, and he has picked up some Cantonese since living in Hong Kong.
One day I was getting ready to take him to a rugby game. His mother, not being a rugby fan, planned a quiet afternoon at home. Our son, however, pleaded.
"Come on, Mommy, you must come."
"I don't understand the game," she replied.
"But it's in English, Mommy!"
A little boy was very naughty and would not say his prayers before going to bed.
One day his father warned him that if he kept doing so. He would not go to heaven. The boy cried noisily and said, "I don't like to go to heaven alone. I want to go with you and mama."
At the art museum the sign "Hand off" was displayed before the statue of Venus. It was very easy to notice.
A small child looked from the sign to the statue and said disinterestedly, "Anybody can see that her hand has fallen off."
A small boy was asked, "Who was the first man?" He promptly replied, "George Washington."
When his brother reminded him of Adam, the boy replied unhappily, "Oh, I didn't think you were counting foreigners."
Little Peter is a boy of nine. He began to go to school the year before last and now he's in Grade Three. He lives not far form the school, but he's often late for class. He likes watching TV in the evening and goes to bed late, so he can't get up early in the morning.
This term Mrs Black, Peter's aunt works in Peter's school. She teaches Grade Three English, She is strict with Peter and often tells the boy to obey the school rules and come to school in time. Yesterday morning Peter got up late. When he got to school. It was ten past eight. His aunt was waiting for him at the school gate.
"You're ten minutes late for the first class, Peter," Mrs Black said angrily. "Why are you often late for class?''
"Every time when I get to the street corner, I see a guidepost. It says, 'SCHOOL--GO SLOW'!"
One day, the teacher inquired Peter: "How much is four minus four?"
Peter was tongue-tired.
The teacher got angry and said: "What a fool! You see, if I put four coins in your pocket, but there is a hole in your pocket and all of them leak out, now what is left in your pocket?"
"The hole," replied Peter.
Teacher: Name some of Thomas Edison's contributions to science.
Students: If it weren't for Edison, we'd all be watching television by candle light.
Mum: Look at your socks. One is short, the other is long. You must have put on the wrong ones.
Xiaodong: I am not wrong. I look at there others socks. One is short and the other is long, too.
Son: Dad, give me a dime.
Father: Son, don't you think you're getting too big to be forever begging for dimes2?
Son: I guess you're right, Dad. Give me a dollar, will you?
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.